But Feeling Lonely

I know what I just said in my last post about not being alone, but that doesn't mean that there aren't times of lonliness...and today happens to be one of those day for me. Right now, for whatever reason, I don't feel like I'm welcomed or wanted anywhere.

One reason is that it's the end of the weekend, which means I'm not going to see my two young kids until the end of the week. My wife and I are separated for a while and I'm staying at my sister's house in the meantime.

Let me be clear that I'm not blaming my sister in the least. Separation was a heartbreaker for me, but I am pretty sure it was for her too. Plus, for a number of reasons, it was very understandable. It's a long story, maybe for another post.

So after saying goodbye to the wife and kids once again, that old sense of lonilness comes back with it. I obviously don't feel welcome in my own house. While incredibly and obviously supportive, I can't keep thinking that her patience (and welcomeness towards me) is getting lower and lower. In spite of their huge financial help and other support, I just can't feel welcome in my parents' or in-laws' house, because I'm certain that underneath they are filled with rage, embarassment and a growing impatience with the liability that is me.

So, today's going to suck, but I'll get over it. I have to.